Tuesday, December 06, 2005
HOW DO YOU REFUEL?
Major life changes can drain you emotionally. The death of a spouse, divorce, personal injury or illness, loss of employment, change of residence. Even happy events such as family holidays or the birth of a child, can leave you emotionally spent. Having difficult conversations throughout the day can emotionally deplete you as well as having to fire somebody or reorganize something. Your supervisor makes you redo a project. The computer goes down for the day. Emotional depletion also happens at home. The sink backs up and the plumber is busy until the end of the week. Chicken pox attacks the children one by one. You learn that your teenage son has a drug problem. When your emotional tank is empty, you are likely to feel uninterested in the well being of others, no matter how full your other tanks are.
How do you refuel emotionally? There are basically two ways. First, relaxation. Some people cannot accept that. They like the fast track, and if they need emotional refueling, they prefer to get it from a pill or an injection. But there is no quick solution. To fill up your emotional reserves, you need to wind down, take a break, put your feet up, take deep breaths and hold the phone calls. Let nature take its course and restore you to your usual emotional strength.
The second way to replenish yourself emotionally is recreation. Some activities seem to inspire you, to re-create your enthusiasm for life. It might be reading, writing, playing an instrument. Sailing, boating, walking the dog. Playing racquetball or weeding in the garden. You may have to experiment for a while to find out what works best for you. When you find it, you’ll know. A couple of hours of the activity, whatever it is will begin the refueling process and make it possible for you to go back and begin loving others and staying on track in other responsibilities.
How do you refuel emotionally? There are basically two ways. First, relaxation. Some people cannot accept that. They like the fast track, and if they need emotional refueling, they prefer to get it from a pill or an injection. But there is no quick solution. To fill up your emotional reserves, you need to wind down, take a break, put your feet up, take deep breaths and hold the phone calls. Let nature take its course and restore you to your usual emotional strength.
The second way to replenish yourself emotionally is recreation. Some activities seem to inspire you, to re-create your enthusiasm for life. It might be reading, writing, playing an instrument. Sailing, boating, walking the dog. Playing racquetball or weeding in the garden. You may have to experiment for a while to find out what works best for you. When you find it, you’ll know. A couple of hours of the activity, whatever it is will begin the refueling process and make it possible for you to go back and begin loving others and staying on track in other responsibilities.
// posted by Keith @ 12:17 AM 
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I find relaxing stressful but I am learning.
Forgetting about my problems and helping somebody else does the trick for me.
Take Care
Michael
Forgetting about my problems and helping somebody else does the trick for me.
Take Care
Michael
I would love to be able to fill up the emotional tank, but sometimes, the other people in my life ruin all my attempts, how do you do this when you have really annoying people dragging you down?
# posted by 
: 7:24 PM
: 7:24 PM
Susie; thanks for the question. this is the hardest thing for all of us. Knowing where boundaries are, setting them. protecting yourself. Wr all have draining people in our life. MAny times we would rather be zapped of life and energy than to have an honest conversation with them about the good and the bad of the relationship. It takes skill and great timing, but you can do it.
I've been thinking these things over and I've observed a couple of things about myself:
First, I can't read the gauges. I wonder if I even have gauges on my dashboard; I'm not aware of what's going on until an idiot light flashes.
As for relaxation and recreation, I find that I don't know how to do either. When I try to relax, I turn it into a project that must be accomplished. And recreation also become a chore.
Result: Constantly on guard, unaware, and soul weary. Sometimes even the idiot lights don't work and I drive along till steam boils out from under the hood.
But this is the only way I know to live and I eventually get to where I need to be -- even if the engine's smoking when I get there.
First, I can't read the gauges. I wonder if I even have gauges on my dashboard; I'm not aware of what's going on until an idiot light flashes.
As for relaxation and recreation, I find that I don't know how to do either. When I try to relax, I turn it into a project that must be accomplished. And recreation also become a chore.
Result: Constantly on guard, unaware, and soul weary. Sometimes even the idiot lights don't work and I drive along till steam boils out from under the hood.
But this is the only way I know to live and I eventually get to where I need to be -- even if the engine's smoking when I get there.
John C: You are half way through the journey. Keep asking yourself and those around you those same questions.
Why do you think I can't relax?
Why do I NOT find that recreation RE-CREATES something in me?
Why do you think I have the need to continually be working on projects?
If you continue playing out the car metaphor, Once you get to your destination you are forced to make major repairs, if you want to get back in the car and take another trip. Not Good.
The people who are closest to you and love you the most, have some of these answers.
I also have had a hard time relaxing in the past. The main reason was because I didn't want to be viewed by anyone as lazy. And because of that inward struggle I didn't live correctly. I was living my life before a judgmental audience that never existed except in my head and heart. That my friend is why the sincere, Authentic answers to those questions will serve you well.
Why do you think I can't relax?
Why do I NOT find that recreation RE-CREATES something in me?
Why do you think I have the need to continually be working on projects?
If you continue playing out the car metaphor, Once you get to your destination you are forced to make major repairs, if you want to get back in the car and take another trip. Not Good.
The people who are closest to you and love you the most, have some of these answers.
I also have had a hard time relaxing in the past. The main reason was because I didn't want to be viewed by anyone as lazy. And because of that inward struggle I didn't live correctly. I was living my life before a judgmental audience that never existed except in my head and heart. That my friend is why the sincere, Authentic answers to those questions will serve you well.
Thanks for a good post. I agree with you.
I've also found there are 2 types of people when it comes to emotional energy; those who are energized by constantly being around/helping people, and those who are drained by too much going on around them. Of course, these are broad categories, but it helps to know where you fit in.
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I've also found there are 2 types of people when it comes to emotional energy; those who are energized by constantly being around/helping people, and those who are drained by too much going on around them. Of course, these are broad categories, but it helps to know where you fit in.
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